There is so much info out there on how to succeed in job searching, interviewing, career management, etc. But what about the advice for those of you who don't want to get a second interview? Surely with the way that some people behave in their interviews (I still remember the girl whose thong was visible AND who copped to falsifying her resume when being interviewed for a professional level role), that must be your objective. So let's address your needs here with a short but sweet list:
1) Screw research. Preparing for an interview by researching the company, their products, the actual humans interviewing you, and the organizational culture is a sure fire way to demonstrate that you are a bright professional...so just don't do it! Ignore the website, Hoovers, BNet, and everything else. You know where the building is-that's enough, right?
2) Practice is for sissies. You don't need to practice, right? You have been in the working world for umpteen years and you know the story. You're not interested in going in there and BS'ing your way into a job-they can take you or leave you at face value. Those people who make the time to map their accomplishments, skills, and experience to the specific requirements of the job are chumps, right? I mean-who are they going to want? The dude who sounds like he is rehearsed or the guy who just wings it with whatever comes to mind at that moment...
3) Let them do the heavy lifting. Remember that they are supposed to be interviewing you, so don't bother creating a strategic list of questions that you want to ask them to both find out more about the role and let them see how you think. I'm sure it's totally ok to go into an interview with zero questions, especially if you don't want to hear from them again.
4) Dress for the job you have. So, sure you could dress up in whatever version of Sunday's best that you own for the interview, but that is going to severely hamper your ability to go to the driving range immediately afterwards. I say as long as your jean shorts don't have stains and you wear your best beer t-shirt, you are golden. Especially if the job is client facing. Who wouldn't want to do business with the replica of their favorite frat boy?
5) Feel free to daydream in the interview. You're there, sitting in the manager's office. Wouldn't it be nice to have her job someday? 3 martini lunches, half days on Fridays, ahhh-the life. Sure, you might be missing some of her questions and avoiding eye contact, but is that so important? Obviously they called you in for an interview-I'm sure there is no one else more qualified than you.
6) Shoot straight. They are eventually going to get to the part where they want to talk about why you left your last job or what you thought of your last boss. Those days are behind you, so it's absolutely ok to tell them that your boss was a complete jackass and you were just about to quit when they fired you. I would say too that it's ok to let them know that you then sued them for wrongful termination and if your settlement comes through, you plan on quitting whatever job you have to live off that money until social security kicks in. I'm sure all of that negativity won't affect their decision anyway, so let it all hang out.
7) Sell yourself? Nah. I mean, I know some may say with unemployment ranging from 9-17% depending on market, you are facing more competition, but who cares. If it's meant to be, it will be-you don't have to be prepared to demonstrate how you above all others are the most qualified candidate for the job.
8) Forget the thank you note. Seriously? You schlepped all the way there and had to TiVo your favorite daytime shows and they want you to thank them? Nah-I would say that unless you want a second interview, do not under any circumstances send a thank you note within 24 hours referencing the specifics of the conversation.
9) Staying in touch? That's what Facebook is for. Again, like the thank you note, I would say skip any follow up once a week for the next 3-4 weeks until you hear back. I mean, again, shouldn't they be doing all of the work?
10) Feel free to bash em! Ok, so I hear lots of stories about companies who never follow up. Sure, they could have valid excuses, but who cares-it is so freaking rude! So, feel free to talk bad about them to all and any who will listen. Social media sites are an excellent way to do this. What's the worst that can happen?
Bottom line-I guarantee that if you follow these 10 easy steps then you too will be able to avoid future interviews. And you know, if you change your mind about not wanting more interviews, well, then I guess you could just do the opposite of all of the excellent pieces of advice I shared here. Now, I gotta go now-I have Cougar Town on Video On Demand...
Sigh...you still don't know what I do? Well, I do a bunch of stuff like recruiting, RPO, job search coaching, resume writing, social media training for job seekers, and watching Cougar Town. I'm also found to be a big fan of sarcasm and bitchyness when the situation calls for it. I hope you know not to take this post seriously and do the exact opposite of what I'm telling you, or I'm going to be so frustrated, I will have to bang my head against my desk again because honestly-I just want the best for you people. Truly. Sigh. I really do have to go now..Cougar Town is on and I love that Bobby.
In addition to these areas of expertise, Michelle is rapidly growing her knowledge base around Social Media and Web 2.0 as it relates to the work world. She writes a regular blog on job searching that can be found at: http://hireme.typepad.com/michellemorettini/. Want to connect to Michelle?
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